Badges, solicitors, probationers and Peter Hitchens …


I didn’t think it would be long before some spanner (Inspector Spanner to you m’lad) had an issue with someone wearing the ‘thin blue line’ union jack patch… it just shows the kind of mealy mouthed cretin that gets to that wank on occasion… I believe the appropriate response would be ‘bollocks…sir’. When I was challenged over wearing a union flag pin badge- I smiled sweetly at the gaffer and gave him my pocket book for him to write the order in… he declined.

I ordered a solicitor yesterday at 1500hrs… when I went off duty at 2100hrs he still hadn’t arrived… It seems Valentines night with the other half is more important than the rights of the PIC… I must remember that one…

We have seen a couple of probationers this week- looking like I did, no doubt, in my first week- like a rabbit in headlights… my mate in training tells me that trainers are not trainers any more-they are ‘coaches’. More worrying is the directive given to ‘student officers’ as they are called now- that they don’t need any help from other members of the shift as they are fully trained …and they are duty bound to challenge ‘inappropriate’ words or behavior from their colleagues… we have had the ‘know your audience’ talk from the DI…but I suspect the directive will only last until the first complicated enquiry-or angry man…

That well known idiot Peter Hitchens says that arresting people is not our primary function- (correct) it’s the ‘prevention and detection of crime’ he wails- the cuts and various policies of control have reduced the proactive nature of the police to zero…(again, surprisingly, correct)… however, like most people he falls into the trap of thinking he knows more about my job than I do…

…anyway Pete, the primary function is actually the preservation of life and property (that often go hand in hand if you think about it…) … tell you what Pete…you stick to writing shit articles about the Kardashians and leave the policing to us…

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4 responses to “Badges, solicitors, probationers and Peter Hitchens …

  1. Rather a low standard and far too much profanity – if you really are a police officer I am not impressed. I have never written about the Kardashians, but I have written a book ‘A Brief History of crime’ , which your local library should get for you, and from which you would benefit.

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