Police linked to Mammoth extinction…

Scientists at the ‘fcuk the police’ university, have released a shock report showing the police were possibly to blame for their disappearance.

“It can’t be ruled out”, said Prof. Cophater, “and before you say it…yes it’s a long time ago, but even though no current coppers could have been involved they are all at it eh ?”

Evidence that shows the police did NOTHING as these magnificent creatures died.

Worse still, some cops have even suggested that early humans were responsible for their demise by hunting and eating them!

“It’s truly disgusting, that the pigs, err…I mean the police would blame humans instead of the real culprits…and we all know who that is eh?”, said a spokesperson for “cops killed the mammoths” protest group…

In other news, police are being accused of “protecting” people trying to put themselves in between badgers and people trying to shoot them with 5.56mm rifles high velocity rifles.

“Bastard coppers…”, said Janet Badgerlover “how dare they? I mean…if I want to get shot and have a hole in me a big as a saucepan then that’s my right eh?”

We tried to speak to a badger we saw but he ran off…


17 responses to “Police linked to Mammoth extinction…

  1. Apparently there is evidence that cave paintings were altered.

  2. Shij the stress of teaching is surely getting to you.

  3. Never mind that! I want to be assured that no badgers were harmed in the making of this post.

  4. I Surrender !
    Through an error on my part, I fell asleep watching TV. I awoke to be viewing Educating Yorkshire, a programme I had not seen previously.
    It wasn’t the foul mouthed, makeup besmeared teenage girls that shocked me, it was the inarticulate teaching staff, in particular the one who ended every sentence with ‘Yeah?’
    I switched over and found myself in the midst of ‘Waterloo Road’, for the life of me I could not tell which was fiction and which fact

  5. Hey classic comment at lunch today from a retired teacher, being a teacher is harder than police as they have the law. It was a polite gathering so I kept schtum. Police however dontnhavebhalf a year off and see 7am and 5pm at home everyday.

  6. I know this is off-topic but a while ago there was a report regarding a “police officer” that forced someone to perform a sex act while in custody. We all know the “police officer” was in fact a civilian custody detention officer and not a “custody officer” as reported in the Mail.
    I am pleased to report that following my complaint to the PCC (and I don’t mean the buffoon who thinks he is in charge of my Force) that the Mail have re-issued the article with corrections and a footnote admitting that they were wrong. Needless to say, they shirked responsibility, telling the PCC that the article was a re-hash of a Central News article that they took on good faith. No mention of sloppy editing/journalism or an attempt to slag off the old bill. But a result nonetheless.

    • Mick,
      There is no doubt that you did very well, but in the minds of lay people it really makes no difference. This was a person employed by the police, performing a policing role under the supervision of a police officer

  7. Good man.

    I also complained to the PCC about that article, which was ludicrous even by Wail standards – they were basically lying by labelling the offender as a police officer (several times). I got a reply from them saying that they were already investigating the article following a previous complaint – guess you beat me to it.

  8. Back on topic, reason we continue to get the blame for everything, no matter what we do or the outcome, is that there is no top cover support. No rebuttals, anything like that, just the usual acceptance of blame and “lessons will be learnt”. What we need is leaders (cough) or Fed reps like this:

    • That clip never fails to move me. I know that guy is the equivilant of a fed rep but just imagine senior officers or the federation fighting our corner with such passion. I’d hazard a guess you would see a drastic improvement in policing over here.

  9. Wow. This guy clearly has something which we have lost – a set.

  10. My (mis)management continue to lead from the back and base `all decisions on statistics, ‘when I was a ,,,,,,,(20 years ago/pre pace/pre cctv’, pre honesty and integrity) and approval from those with no experience, no knowledge, crisp white shirts and a willingness to say and do anything to ensure they get further up the corporate ladder without actually doing any police work.
    Management by e-mail is not management.
    on the very very rare occasion they do have to interact with my peers, it is a one way conversation, usually with a veiled threat of discipline(unfounded) or knowing that they can bully and badger with no tangible consequences.
    The Acpoo lead for my ilk last week praised our work…. it’s just ipservice.
    As is the idea that they listen, care or have any concern for the health, welfare or workload of the lower ranks.
    I now hear that my farce will be implementing further change as the integrated neighbourhood teams just can’t cut it. Sooooooo back we will go to section sector beats and dedicated CID, maybe some proactive units.
    Embracing change as always, moving forwards by going backwards……….

    still an ideal opportunity for those idle yesmen/women/other to secure another rank by (de)implementing the changes they implemented.
    No one ever gets sacked for stupid ideas in the cops….just promoted.

  11. Have to agree.
    Can genuinely say have never felt so unsupported throughout my career.
    My colleagues are all I can rely upon.

  12. Just read yet another dumb Mail artical saying police should be giving up using cars, don’t ever use a gun and bin all tasers. It’s a stupied journalist without a clue spouting off about things he clearly doesn’t understand. I would love for the entire country’s officers to do as he asks and just watch the absolute disaster that would follow. Why on earth are such people given a national forum when its clear all they want to do is bash an institution they just havnt got the guts to actually do. Rant over.

  13. I haven’t seen that video from San Francisco before – and it’s been on Youtube for 7 years. Wow. That guy is a hero for saying those words and saying them with such conviction. Every single word he says can apply to this country, a lack of accountability of the Magistrates and Judiciary, a dismal lack of any support from SMTs and government, a police-hating press and the problems within the criminal justice system.
    If only ANYONE in our country had the balls to actually say it.

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