WORD EXCLUSIVE!!! the Shijuro guide to not being locked up in Peru…


1. When charming rich looking ‘bad-boys’ -you have only met 24-hours ago- invite you to go on holiday to a country that has a massive drug import/export problem say no…

2.

When you are on holiday in a country that has a massive drug import/export problem with your ‘bad-boy’ boyf and he asks you to take:

  • a package
  • a large hollow sounding statue
  • a teddy bear to his sick niece
  • a parcel for his dying mum

Say… ‘no…’ and walk away at the nearest opportunity…

3.

When you are a scutty, work-shy, benefit class moron, try not to do anything really… especially stuff that involves thinking…

(oh and finally… if you are trying the old ‘they made me do it-I was so scared’ defence… make sure you are not caught on CCTV out smiling and shopping…alone…oh and when you have your picture taken with Police officers…mention you’ve been kidnapped at gunpoint… they may be able to help…)

lol…15 years awaits…lucky it wasn’t some other countries…they would be facing the death penalty…

Advertisements

40 responses to “WORD EXCLUSIVE!!! the Shijuro guide to not being locked up in Peru…

  1. Scutty? Should that be “slutty” or “scatty”? Both are applicable methinks.

  2. Brief Encounter

    Oi! Don’t argue with teacher if Sir says it is Scutty then Scutty it is.

  3. I can confirm that “Scutty” is the correct abbreviation of Scabby Slut.

    You’re welcome 🙂

  4. well on a positive note, by the time they get out they will be fluent in Spanish, especially lots of rude words
    anything that dont kill you will make you stronger
    and then of course the newspaper articles in the sun and the book and magazines my holiday hell
    oh and they wont be paying any tax or NI or claiming the dole for a while
    let me think any downside
    er ?? no

  5. And don’t let’s forget about poor old Wiki-leaks source Pte Bradley “I would like to be treated as a woman” Manning.

    Personally, I’d be choosing my words a bit more carefully if I was facing 35 years in an American penitentiary…

  6. On the subject of Bradley – I think this announcement is more than ample evidence that the guy has ‘a few slates missing’…

    Who, in their right mind, would choose the moment they are about to be incarcerated with thousands of frustrated predatory rapists, murderers and psychos to announce that they now ‘wish to be female???’

    I think that young Mr. Manning would be well advised to invest in a ‘soap on a rope’ but even with that precaution he will, in the imortal words of Warden Samuel Norton, from the Shawshank Redemption “think he’s been ‘*&%@#d by a train” by the time he gets out of there.

    Whether he was morally right or wrong to make his disclosures to Wikileaks he is evidently a little naive.

    • “Who, in their right mind, would choose the moment they are about to be incarcerated with thousands of frustrated predatory rapists, murderers and psychos to announce that they now ‘wish to be female???’”

      Someone who really REALLY wants a good time?

  7. or maybe that should read ‘immortal’…

  8. You think the Land Of The Free will put a person who regards themselves as a woman, in a male prison? Yeah, for sure.

    This is a great tactic on his part, surely? Massive problem for his gaolers for the next 35 years… a stroke of genius. (I’m guessing not ‘hers’ personally, but on someone’s part!

    • Way to guarantee himself 35 years of solitary.

      which as he has “Instant victim” written all over him is probably a good thing.

    • Brief Encounter

      Cor! Do you by any chance have a relative who served in Korea? It’s just that Col Potter in Mash often tells Radar to get on to I. Cor. I thought that maybe Iain Cor?

  9. Brief Encounter

    We should not accept that conditions in prisons might be inhuman without questioning it. Of course they may not be, after all what is the evidence apart from some films? Either way the lawful punishment is loss of liberty not state sanctioned physical abuse.

  10. Brief Encounter

    Those of you who have seen the delightful film, Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, will remember that one guest had gone to India on the NHS to get her hip done. Now it seems that the NHS is actually adopting the policy. How long before we start out sourcing prison accomodation by sending serving prisoners to India to seve their sentences.

  11. Brief Encounter

    Serve even….

    • BE , now that is an extremely well thought out idea. In fact the more I look at it the more I am surprised that some Fast Tracked young Inspector with a BA degree in basket weaving or a PHD in The Mating Habits of Dormice hasn’t already submitted a paper on this to The College of Policing.

  12. Brief Encounter

    Changing subject slightly, in part of the US you can now bequeath your body to a forensic research station. Rather like Beethoven you just chill out and decompose whilst scientists monitor you as you rot. I’m tempted.

  13. No doubt will be found guily, then at great public expense, a campaign by “the sun” and intervention by honourable members they wil be put in pokey in uk for a few months, time served susbended etc and with book deaks and a feature spread in HELLO.
    I await the movie.
    Who says crime doesn’t pay. 🙂

    • Brief Encounter

      We are all living off the proceeds of crime even if not directly.

      • We are all living off the proceeds of crime…..

        BE. I hope your not suggesting im stealing a living 🙂

        • Brief Encounter

          Of course not but since your only role is to prevent crime and mine to prosecute or defend, we are somewhat dependent on it.

          • got the point, but couldn’t resist .
            God bless the average scroat who keeps me gainfully employed.
            Long may they keep thinking i’m clocking on/off and disinterested.
            ………….and long may they keep telling the likes of yourself that they were just out for a breath of fresh air at 3am and were just hiding in the bushes from the gang of ninjas out to do them harm and that the bag of booty found nearby has nothing to do with them.

            • Brief Encounter

              Well no doubt everything will have been text book as far as forensics etc is concerned.

  14. Sorry about that, but I keep losing connection to password.

  15. That’s better. It’s probably all due to senile decay, and BE’s pun on Beethoven decomposing. I shall now resume a watching brief !
    SP

  16. They will be repatriated back here to serve their sentence. Cheaper for Peru. As for Manning…check the stats for HIV/Hep in US prisons

  17. bradely manning looks as if he aint got long to live !

  18. Has everyone taken time off?

  19. Brief Encounter

    Yeah it’s slowing up pimps. I reckon that when Shij gets a proper job he won’t have time to maintain the blog so he is easing us down gradually.

  20. Brief Encounter

    If you look at your blogging covenant you will see that holidays are not mentioned. Teaching however is a profession with more holidays than work or so it would seem. Anyway welcome back to blighty.

    • Never left…
      lol the ol’ ‘teachers are off half the year…’ blag…

      I expected more…somehow…

      resisting …
      urge…
      to…say…

      what do you call 10,000-lawyers at the bottom of the ocean with concrete blocks around their necks?

      …a reasonable start….

      arghhhh I bit…

  21. When our trusty, low-cost, Black and Decker toaster oven started spewing
    smoke from itss aspect, we commenced a pursuit of something which would suit on our cramped counter.
    There wee few possibilities so we opted for a fresh Brevilple product intending
    that the value might somehow be justified garnering any continually large
    reviews.

    A liottle dear, but you get what you purchase. It is a great looking toaster ovven using a large amount of functions.
    People quickly notice that this is not just any toaster.
    The finish and basic interface, in conjunction with completely toasted bagels, gets the poduct 5 stars.

    NEVERTHELESS, unlike most cheaper toaster cookers
    I have owned, the Mini’s tray does NOT slide out when you open
    the door. Therefore be cautious removing hot
    food in the oven, or have a box handle nearby.

    In my own guide, this subtracts a superstar.
    toaster ovens
    I will have bought the Breville years ago in
    the place of losing cash on these cheap toaster ovens that you simply change over and
    over. It toasts, bakes, broils, does everything good. And it
    also looks great within my kitchen. The mini intelligent oven doesn’t
    take-up a lot of table room (I employed to have a toaster
    and a toaster oven, now one great appliance doles everything) despite the fact that I’ve a galley
    NYC home. I acquired another cord tray so I can use two levels at once.
    I enjoy the ‘a bit more’ key if you just want anything toasted or heated somewhat more.

    When our aged Oster toaster oven gave out I needed to discover still another toaster
    might match that space. This is one of many few that would
    do therefore, but there have been no critiques
    nonetheless for this product and all the warnings about how
    exactly hot these specific things access it the exterior sounded scary.
    In the end, it’s this that I ordered, and I am happy with it.
    It generally does not get any hotter compared too previous one did.
    In reality, it appears cooler.

    It is redlatively smallerr compared tto one I had before, but it fiits the pans from
    my old one and the inside aeea is okay for your factors I place in it: a few pieces of
    dense toast, sausages, and soo forth. Since I have a gas range having an oven at the
    same time I don’t prepare full roasts or anything that way
    in the toaster oven. The time and heat settings with this device
    actually work (instead of just being fully a ticking countdown timer like my previous toaster oven), and they are easy to see and understand, therefore I have not burned anything however.
    It’s perhapos quite, at the least I think.
    toaster oven bakeware stainless steel
    It knows precisely how lopng to accomplish it determined by if it’s toasting, baking, etc.
    The configurations are easy to control and work great.
    I do not get the beeping sound that sounds when the range is done pre-heating and if it is done cooking too deafening or troublesome at
    all as some reviewers have created. I never create opinions, but this really is hands down better than any
    toaster oven I have ever owned. It is worth the expenditure.

    I disputed between the Compact and the Mini. I wanted a toaster that I could put on my microwave.
    I was a little concerned the degree of the Mini could be a lot of.

    It didn’t aid the solution conclusion claims the dimensions of the Mini as BOTH 16x13x9 incches and 15.5x14x8.8
    inches? The Mini actually is smaller than-expected, as the door handle included ~2 inches.

    With that in mind, the really presence is nearer to 15.5×10.75 inches( Height 8.5 ins).

  22. May HGH Supplements Boost Slim Body Mass

    HGH, human growth hormone may be the hormone in the human body in charge of improving lean body
    mass in addition too suwtaining its health and integrity.
    The clinical title for this hormone is somatotropin. Many individuals appear to misunderstand the nature of HGH inaide the human
    body and do not grasp precisely what this hormone does.

    Individual growth hormone is capable of stimulating the growth
    of lean muscle mass, repairs to ruined cells, and substitution of dead ones.
    As time passes we naturally commence to generate less of it on the
    daily schedule. At the age of twenty the average generation
    amount of somatotropin withiin the human anatomy will waver between four hundred and five hundred micrograms.
    This is depending on activity-level and sometimes gender.

    That manufacturing can drop to roughly half that quantity at age forty.

    However, by the period this individual reaches age ninety they’ll
    create around twenty-five micrograms about the common.
    Which means the average individual can develop twenty times less HGH
    about the average at age eighty while they can at age twenty.

    Supplements for HGH are not basically presenting the body more human growth hormone.
    These products present important proteins the anterior pituitary gland uses to
    generate HGH. That doesn’t mean they’re frauds or pointless.
    They do work, and work properly with the objective of
    aiding while in the raise of lean body-mass.

    supplements muscle gain
    However, it ought to be noted that there’s a wewird nnotion that applying HGH
    supplements will turn the average person into a super hyman muscle building machine.
    This isn’t true. A good, solid, HGH product works nicely for many people and be practically useless for others.
    You’ll find two primary factors tgat determine hhow well a proper supplement will wotk
    for yoou personally. These components are age and task.

    http://www.myfit.ca/fitnessprograms/viewprogram.asp?title=Muscle+Growth&programid=7

    An eighty-year old person that works out each day will find that a good product will assist them out to an incredible,
    nearly staggeringly helpful, amount. A twenty-year old person that rests around eating potato chips and playing
    video-games aall time will hardly notice any transform at all.
    In most honesty a twenty-year old power lifter
    will nnot be probable obserrve that much diffeeence either.
    Thee truth in this mattter is that HGH supplements might help increase lean body-mass
    but only in folks that nerd the boost. A highly active person previously produces thee maimum amount
    of HGH the human body may use naturally anyway. The remainder is lost.
    For him or her they’d be better served by way of a easy multi-vitamin.
    To power the body to construct considerably bigger amounts of muscle mass using HGH at a younger age will require the
    usage of injections. This can be a commonly illegal plan of action
    without medical reasons.

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s