Smiley cops make everyone feel better…

Gmp are sending their hard pressed frontliners on a course to practice smiling and making eye contact… ignoring the logistics of doing that when in a car at 30mph for the moment, it is yet another classic example of everything that’s wrong with policing today…

Instead of spending money on shit like this, they might try giving us radios that work…pocket pnc… armor that actually stops bullets…or horror…employing some more officers…

It’s someone’s extra pip I suppose so I guess I should be happy someone in the job is sending their kids to private school and having nice holidays in the sun…

I love the story about the mafia boss that’s been in the run for years, arrested here and now may be bailed by some fcukwitt judge ….
The world must piss their pants at us…

Still…in two weeks…I well care considerably less… 🙂


41 responses to “Smiley cops make everyone feel better…

  1. Control: “Any response unit attend a report of robbery outside McDonalds, ******** High Street approximately two minutes ago. Suspects described as all IC (‘whatever’) aged late teens, one in grey hooded top and jeans, second red t-shirt black tracksuit bottoms, third white t-shirt and jeans. Threatened victim with a knife. Any units respond please.”

    Me: “Show me heading towards, ETA High Street zero five”

    2nd vehicle: “Show me backing up, ETA one zero”

    Control: “First unit, are you single crewed?”

    Me: “Yes yes”

    Control: “Received”

    Me: “Show me TOA, with victim now, show me doing area search”

    Me: “Three males stopped ******** Street, off High Street. Standby”

    Me: “Hello Sir (remembering to smile and look at ONE of the suspects directly in the eye)..I wonder if you all might just…. OOOF… UGHHHH… URGENT ASSISTANCE, U r gen t a sss …. t …………. a

    Yet another appeasing crock of batshit crazy doo-doo pump that has no place in the world of real-time, effective policing. Yet still they listen, nod and tut to the ‘other side’s assertions whilst completely ignoring, nay denigrating us and our opinions and experiences.

    Where is out management (I refuse to allow ‘their’ term ‘leadership’) or PolFed?

    Oh, and “First”!

  2. Control: “Any unit respond to report of a robbery outside McDonalds ************ High Street. Suspects described as 3 IC (whatever) males approximately late teens,, first wearing grey hooded top and grey tracksuit bottoms, second red t-shirt and jeans and third white t-shirt. Victim threatened with a knife. Last seen heading north of ********* Street. Any units respond”

    Me: “Show me attending, ETA zero five”

    2nd unit: “Show me backing up, ETA one five”

    Control: “First unit, confirm units on board”

    Me: “Single crewed, control.”

    Control: “Received”

    Me: “Show me TOA and conducting are search with victim.”

    Me: Show three males stopped on ************ Street. Standby control”

    Me: “Hello sir (remembers to smile and look at one of the suspects in the eye, and remembering also NCalt training on Stop/Search – offers hand shake)… The reason I’ve stopped you three gentlemen today is… OOOFFF… UGHHH.. URGENT ASSISTANCE… URGeee nt……..t…………a

    Control: “Any units Any units, Urgent Assistance ********** Street, officer has three ales stopped, report of knife involved, no response from attending officer… any units respond…”

    Another completely bat-shit crazy nonsense pile of doo doo crap from the ‘think tank’ lobbyists who will listen intently to ‘them’ but have no care for what all this bolleaux means to ‘The Man in The Arena’

    “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

    We really are on a hiding to nothing at the moment. Seriously wondering why I bother any more.

    Vote Labour
    Vote Ukip
    Vote Greens
    Vote Monster Raving F*cking Looney party
    Vote whoever

    Just don’t vote Tory.

  3. My posts are disappearing. WTF?.

  4. I’ll smile when the situation requires it, and snarl when that’s appropriate. End of !!!

  5. I think smiling is great, particularly at ACPOo ranks… it drives them madder!

    • I’m with you Cor. There’s nothing more likely to wind up your average Englishman, than to smile inanely at him. he will either think you are trying to pick him up, or you are taking the p—s, or you are simple, or you are trying to provoke him. Which ever applies, it’s all a waste of money and is obviously the idea of some twit trying to get the next rank.

    • Brief Encounter

      Well not if he has been living in Uxbridge. Obviously not into the finer things in life.

  6. I once did a trip through part of Russia.
    The Russian people do not smile. It is a national thing, and God knows, they have had little to smile about over the years.
    It is quite disconcerting.
    The authorities realised that this was a problem that was hurting the tourist rouble, and in typical Russian fashion, set about solving it. They sent out government personnel in all directions and whenever an employee of any establishment gave them a smile with any purchase, the smiler was given a cash reward.
    Mind you, this was during the time of Putin’s first reign, [always referred to as “Our Great Leader!”] and has doubtless changed as relations with the outside world have got frostier…

    A cash incentive as a reward for smiling while rolling round in a filthy gutter while struggling with some biting, spitting, headbutting ned, anyone?

  7. The silly old judge has remanded the alleged Mafia boss in custody.

  8. Having been the subject of a complaint for ‘smiling’ …………..I can’t wait .

    SLT the only rank where incompetence and ignorance are rewarded.

    In GMP It’s not what you know, it’s who you know, who you’ve shagged and which lodge you belong to.

    I can count on one hand the number of Ch supts/supts etc I actually have any faith in to make a sound command decision and who would put the health and welfare of their troops before their own careers.

    bunch of twunts.

  9. What with smiling classes, being asked by SMT to openly declare your sexuality, another CC on some kind of “leave” after something as yet fully unexplained to do with the PCC and those continually tumbling crime figures, things just get better and better.
    What’s not to smile about? [Rolls eyes]

  10. I find myself laughing, let alone smiling everyday at the farce that passes for leadership in GMP.

    if your face fits and you’ve got shiney buttons then regardless of how incompetent or how badly you fubar the systems running from one office posting to another, paying lipservice and leaving havoc in your wake, your a made man/woman/other in GMP.
    As is shown by a farce that has almost twice as many supts/ch supts/ch insp and office insp’ as any comparable farce.

    As Fahy’s says the cuts aren’t affecting the frontline…………as the frontline to him is the shiney arses at his ivory tower.

  11. GMP should have waited. Most will smile having learned that the paragon of virtue that is Chris Huhne has landed a job with an American energy company, at £100,000.00 per annum for a two day week. The Tory Party; lining their own pockets while they pick yours.

    • Disgraced, lying, cheating, Perverting the Course of Justice, ex-Climate Minister comes out of prison and walks into a job for an energy company and given the remit to ‘grow the [energy] business in the EU’.

      At the risk of coming over all Littlejohn/Gadget-esque – YOU COULDN’T MAKE IT UP!

      (although, he was a LibDem, by the way, but what’s the difference?!)

  12. Anyone see the story in the papers today about the PC’s at Parliament could be getting replaced by G4S guards? About time the scum there got a taste of policing on the (very) cheap.

  13. Brief Encounter

    This honourable gentleman no sorry that makes him sound like a politician, is up for extortion presumably by milking hard working folk of their well earned cash and living it up.

  14. Brief Encounter

    So you loook into someone’s eye then slowly develop a big Cheshire cat smile, they will be having on their toes.

  15. I wasn’t aware that grinning like a twunt was a prerequisite in the modern police service.
    I thought it was the reserve of elected officials when doling out bad news to the masses and spewing soundbites about being allinittogether.

    Still nice to know that even after being convicted of serious offences an elected official can still command a 6 figure salary, a parachute payment and gold plated pension care of you and me.

    Now I see we must all getbehindfracking. I’m all for it , what with the price of gas and everything , having a flammable liquid ontap will be a godsend.
    Still, I’m sure it would be a different story if the fracking fields were in the home counties and up ‘t’upNorth.

    clocking off…………………with a smile 🙂

  16. Slightly Tarnished

    You’ve got more chance of finding unicorn crap than you have seeing me smile in work for the foreseeable.

  17. I was smiling till I read

    Taxpayers subsidised Parliament’s bars and restaurants to the tune of £7m last year –

  18. Please smile ( if you have any teeth left that is ) Please tell that to the cop assaulted by a yob with a knuckle duster and baseball bat ,his assailant ……….bail …….mr mcaskill where is the support and assertion that these assaults are a national shame and will not be tolerated and the full force of the law and penalties at the disposal of he courts should be used , did someone forget to tell the sheriff ?

  19. Brief Encounter

    Can we have a new subject please?

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