Bike Adverts…


I am after a new bike and am finding the stuff people put on to describe their bikes quite funny… In line with this I proudly present:

The Shijuro guide to bike adverts..

  • Nice project bike: shed that won’t start…

  • Good track bike: shed that runs-but if you put it on a road you will be arrested.

  • Engine needs TLC: needs engine.

  • Bodywork needs TLC: needs new body.

  • Hundreds spent: was a shed-now a semi-shed but ran out of money.

  • One lady owner: lie…or the lady was a lady moto rider…

  • Original set-up: spent nothing on it.

  • Garaged overnight: they live in a neighbourhood like a demilitarised zone.

  • Willing to travel: desperate to get rid of it…

  • Baby forces sale: wife forces sale.

  • Moved to bigger bike: moved to better bike.

  • Reluctant sale: happy to see the back of the shed.

  • A bit tatty: shed.

  • May need a little work before MOT: needs- welding; new frame; new engine; wiring loom; clocks; battery; forks and gearbox.

  • This [insert part name] can be got off eBay: this is impossible to find and the bike won’t run without it.

  • Lovely bike: looks nice…don’t run very well.

  • Nice commuter: ex dispatcher.

  • Nice weekend bike: tidy ex dispatcher.

  • Custom: replaced stock parts ‘cos impossible to find with crap ones.

  • Custom paint job: did it himself with a tin and brush.

  • Great MPG: 125cc.

  • Great performance: 1200cc.

  • Low insurance: 125cc…

  • Unique: Chinese bike that nobody will insure and you cant get parts.

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5 responses to “Bike Adverts…

  1. Buy a guzzi you will keep fit pushing it !!!
    Street sleeper is a term i like read as heap of shit
    some of the descriptions on ebay.are worthy of a booker prize for fiction
    get thyself an ER5 best bike around.for the money

  2. My ‘modern’ bike threw a cam chain tensioner a week ago… haven’t yet looked into it as I fear the worst… 18,000 miles, dealer serviced and mollycoddled.. Hmmm…. Honda. My other bike dates from the sixties and is like Trigger’s brush… “It’s all orginal, apart from two new heads and three new handles.”

  3. Buy a Harley, at least the value doesn’t drop like a tarts knickers.
    Parts are readily available and with plenty of customs parts and sources, quite cheap.

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