Tiny Clanger has hit out at Police because they failed to rescue his trumpet from the soup wells on his home planet of ‘Clanger’.
Speaking via a translator I had arranged for him, Tiny said, “I called them and was disgusted at the operator’s attitude. It was clear there was a race thing going on. I told them the trumpet was a valued family heirloom and offered to pay a reward if they got it back before tea-time but they were having none of it.”
When asked why he thought he might be the subject of racism, Tiny shook his head sadly and replied, “Everyone knows the cops are racist. I mean if they are racist to other humans-what chance does a Clanger have of getting service?”
Community leader Major Clanger said he was thinking seriously of referring the matter to his solicitor as he believes Tiny would not know be trumpetless had it not been for the ‘selfish’ actions of the Police.
We spoke to Liberty spokesperson Chamois Chippybutty as she got into her £100k Aston Martin outside her home in Knightsbridge:
“Yah… it’s the Police attitude all over. Time and time and time and time again we see this ‘don’t care’ face…no wonder people want private police. I mean, they respond in minutes…if you are covered in your policy of course.”
Local Police declined to comment other than to say that ‘off-world rescues of any kind were down to Buzz Lightyear or that other bloke Kirk’