The Four ex-Police officers


Cop1: Takes me back this does…I remember the time when we only got a cup of cold tea on one of these….

Cop2: without milk…

Cop3: or sugar….

Cop4: aye…or tea.

Cop1: none of these lot know ‘owt… when I were a bobby… you know, we used to work an 8-hour shift; have 45-minutes for refs; we were driven to our beat area to walk all day; no body armour and only a radio and a wooden stick for protection… and we had to have a prisoner each day or there was trouble all for £200-a week…

Cop2: Luxury. We worked 12-hour shifts- have 20-mins refs; we had to walk to the beat area; no radio and no stick; we had to lock up at least 3-people or we would be n the sheet…and make the Sergeant’s sausage and egg breakfast on earlies. We got paid £100-per week for that…

Cop3: That was nothing… we worked 18-hours a day- every day except xmas- when it were double time; we used to have 2-minutes for food, so most of us had a Mars to eat as we walked; we had to run to the beat area and get 10-prisoners a day or we were fined; make the Sergeant’s breakfast, dinner and supper. We had to telephone in each hour to get any jobs…and we got paid nowt and relied on the wife or the local church f’food!

Cop4: Heh, we used to dream of that! I worked 24-hours a day, 7-days a week; no refs break or annual leave; we had to crawl to our beat area; get 100-prisoners a day or we were flogged with a barbed wire cat’o-9-tails-then killed and the sarge would dance on our grave; make the Sergeant’s breakfast, dinner, tea, iron his clothes, wash his car, shag his missus and walk his dog; We had to shout to the control room – we bought our own uniform and we paid the guv f’ privilege of working for Her Maj!

Cop1… yeah… and the kids today…they don’t believe you…

Cop2… aye…

Cop3… aye…

Cop4 … aye….aye….

Cop4- mind you… it’s heading back to that now we have the wankers in charge again…

Cop1/2/3…. AYYYYEEEE

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2 responses to “The Four ex-Police officers

  1. When I joined the money was crap the probationer had to shag the Insp. wife supervision was rubbish and the chiefs did’nt know their arse from their elbow.Hang on bugger all has changed.

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