Thomas the retangular shaped engine…

Hello boys and girls!


It was a beautiful October day on the island of Sod-all and Thomas was very happy. “God, I’m so happy!”, said Thomas. “I’m going to tell my friends at the yard how happy I am.”

Thomas, put himself into gear and puffed towards the yard, tooting loudly ”TOOOOOT!”…


Not happy...

When he got there he saw Gordon and Thomas could see he wasn’t happy.

“What’s the matter Gordon?”, said, Thomas. “That fat git Toppham Twat says we have to call Christmas ‘winter holiday’ and the Christmas tree you carry is to be called ‘the decorated tree…’ have you ever heard such a load of shite?”

Thomas reflected on the fact that he hadn’t… but Thomas never really cared about what things were called in the first place…

“I don’t really care what things are called in the first place”, said Thomas.

oh...naughty words...

“That’s because you are a thick little vacuous fuck-no wonder this iland is so fucked up with spanners like you voting. I hope some chav sprays you with paint.”, said Gordon.

Thomas shut his eyes and tried to block out Gordon’s naughty words. Gordon must be very angry, thought Thomas. He often said bad words when he was angry…

“You are really angry Gordon, but why?”, asked Thomas.

“Where does it stop? Eh? Answer me that!”, said Gordon. “First it’s Christmas, then they move those smelly Diesels into your neighbourhood…”

“Some of my best friends are diesels”, said Thomas.

“You live next door to them then…”, said Gordon…

What do you mean? You don't care?

Thomas rolled off to see his diesel friend- Harry.

“Hello Harry! Have you heard about the change of names? Great isn’t it?”, beamed Thomas.

“I don’t think it’s great at all, it’s just going to make the other engines hate us. This island is a Christian island, changing the name a stupid bland title just pisses of the vast bulk of the population…”, said Harry.

“I never thought of that!”, said Thomas and rolled off to his siding…

That night he had a visit from some of the ‘chavs’ Gordon spoke about…

"bastards", thought Thomas...


4 responses to “Thomas the retangular shaped engine…

  1. Are you really suggesting that anyone who objects is a thick racist thug or must be “angry” about it ?

    Do you honestly not think that objection… in itself… is valid ?

    You surprise me, Shij.

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